Last Friday I submitted my dissertation. (Yay!) I thanked ya’ll, my Facebook friends et al., in ze Acknowledgements section and I thank you again now for the encouragement, kind words and assistance. ^_^ The following is what I wrote in the Acknowledgements; please forgive me if I forgot to mention you by name (feel free to point out my omission via a private message and hopefully you’ll forgive me after getting a virtual hug ^^):
Acknowledgements
When I began this dissertation I thought to myself “Kalifa, how yuh really goin’ to pull dat off?” Needless to say, I have completed the task, despite my initial worry. However, any attempt to take sole responsibility for this achievement would be an egregious insult to God and the many individuals who believed in me and encouraged, advised and otherwise assisted me. I therefore dedicate this acknowledgement to everyone who has been there for me.

I firstly want to thank John (Prof. Rust) who has been very supportive of me as a young academic, artist and all-rounded person. His feedback on my work, belief in me, and quirky retelling of stories fuelled me to work hard– with a smile and laugh. I’d also like to thank David (Dr. Good), who was always willing to sit with me, give me advice and encouragement, and
share some of the most thought provoking philosophical metaphors about life and psychology.

I am also immensely grateful to David (Dr. Stillwell) for his friendship and encouragement, as well as his constructive (and entertaining >_<) critique and proof reading, of my dissertation. I’d also like to especially thank Bartosz (Kielczewski) for being awesome, kind, and helping me with using the Facebook API to collect data. Very special mention must also be made of Aiden, Sandra, Tanja, Josip, Keven, Kamila, Michal and all the members of the Psychometrics Centre whose friendship during my time at Cambridge is invaluable. I’d also like to specially thank Avah, Corinne, Lorendra, Sameer, Chris (Dr. Meir), Dr. Chadee, Mr. and Mrs. Parks, Rita D., Rachel McD., Diane FM., Dr. Alan B., Michael M. and my Facebook friends whose kindness, concern and support helped sustain me throughout this journey.

Lastly, and in no way the least, I’d like to thank God and my family: mummy (Sharlyne Fox-Damani), daddy (Micah Damani), my siblings (Ashaki, Okera, Jo shua and Rachel), and grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunties for loving and supporting me through it all. ^_^

Jus bounce up another Trini normal normal at Corpus– Two Trinis in Corpus Christi, Cambridge! (doubt he list the college cuz it had a pelican in de logo like I did tho >_<). He say ‘You’re Joshua’s sister, right?’ I say, ‘Yes’ with a big grin on my face (like I just meet a celebrity  ). Interestingly, he went Pres Chag and his sis went SAGHS, and my bro went Pres Chag while I went SAGHS.
Met Rishi last week and Samir jus now …Feelin like I on a roll… Maybe I’ll bounce up another Trini next week too.

For a moment I stood staring at this frog when I began to feel like someone was staring at me. So, I looked up and there stood a guy, next to me, watching me watch the frog.
He then asked, in a very English accent, “Is it that you almost stepped on him?”
I replied, “No, it’s just that for a while now I’ve been thinking that I’ve never seen a frog in England… And now I’ve seen one, so I was looking at it. You’re English aren’t you?”
He: “Yes, I’m English.”
Me:“Yep, you sound English. Are there frogs here?”
He:“There are frogs here…but I rarely see them. Maybe they just hide better…”
Me:“Yup, maybe”
“Where are you from….are there lots of frogs there?”, asked he.
“Trinidad and Tobago, in the Caribbean. Well, there aren’t lots…but I think that had I been at home for the length of time that I’ve been in England, I’d already have seen a frog.”
We stood there for a while together watching the frog.
“He seems really content where he’s at”, he remarked.
“Yup, I was wondering if he was dead, but his eyes are open.”
The English guy then bent down and looked at the frog’s eyes.
“Yes. There’s a twig on him”, he said. Slowly, he moved his thumb and index finger and removed the twig from the frog with a quick, gentle pull. The frog remained motionless.
“Maybe he really is dead”, he said.
“Yeah”, I replied, “that’s not normal for it to remain so calm.”
We continued talking about the frog and what might have happened to it, as well as about English versus Trini frogs and toads for what felt like an unnaturally long time. It was the most peculiar instance of my day today—talking to a stranger from my college about frogs. It was refreshing though. I was a bit frustrated and down, but having had that short, absolutely random conversation about frogs, and subsequently Harry Potter, our respective courses and college stuff has given me the little jolt of joy that I need to push through the rest of my day. 🙂 And now, my work begins…

I wanted to squeeze as many people into this as possible, but I’ve stalled on it for so long and I’m not quite certain when I’ll be making time to finish it… 😦
But I have to finish it! ^_-

Gots more peeps to add.

Update: 13Feb 2015

Update: 9th Feb, 2016

I think it may be slightly cheesy to post something about love on Valentine’s Day, so I’m sharing this now. I’m generally a bit lethargic when it comes to love…yes, I’d love to be romanced, fall in love, feel comfortable giving up some of my independence and relying on a special someone: all that mushy stuff; BUT….

…BUT I fall into the category of people who say, think, act, see, notice, react, feel ‘BUT…’. It spares me from a lot of pain, heartache, frustration and trying when I easily see every problem with a potential relationship. It saves me from a lot, keeps me from a lot, spares me from a lot of things…things like bruises, concussions, scrapes, cuts and all the types of injuries that might be associated with falling.

I think that for most of my life, on almost every occasion, I’ve looked at the idea of falling in love, dating, letting my guard down as a risk that’s bound to end in bruises and scars. To some extent, probably to a large extent, I still do hold this view. However, my perspective has changed a bit in the past months. I still think of the buts…

•Do you want to go out on a date Kalifa?
…but it ultimately won’t work out.
•I really like you Kalifa.
…but you don’t know what you’re trying to get yourself into, I’ll only disappoint you.
•I’m willing to take that risk.
…but I’m not. We won’t be able to give each other what we each want.
•How do you know if you never allow yourself to fall in love?
…but if I let myself fall then maybe I’ll…

•Then I’ll catch you.
•I’ll catch you.
…but you might catch me; breaking up, bruising, scarring isn’t inevitable.
It’s always risky when you close your eyes, fall back, and for a moment float in space…light, unstable, waiting to see whether the ground or someone’s arms will break your fall. It’s our perspective of that moment when we’re free-falling, momentarily not knowing up from down, slightly confused–feeling both scared and excited –that decides whether we choose to love or be alone. I was pretty much stuck in the train of thought that falling back would inevitably lead to something being broken, but now I say, think, act, see, notice, react, feel that maybe someone will be there, someone will be able and maybe someone will be willing to catch me: someday.

I’m not sure when though. The reason my perspective has changed over the past few months is because I had leaned back. I allowed myself to fall, I briefly floated…and someone’s arms were open to catch me; and he did catch me, and held me: for a moment. It was a beautiful moment, with one of the most amazing (albeit slightly* weird and annoying) people ever, and a large part of me wishes that it won’t end. But then I fell. I rolled away. I still fell… It hurt. My legs were still wobbly from all the time floating in confusion, and I wasn’t yet ready to walk by the time he was ready to let me go so I could stand again…. it’s no fun watching someone under strain.

I’ve come to believe again though that it’s not that bad to risk a cut, or scar for the chance of being caught, held, loved and being gently lowered onto my feet until I can stand again. Maybe in the future I’ll recover more quickly from the free-fall and be able to stand steadily , or maybe in the future someone who is able/willing to more slowly lower me onto my feet again will catch me. I don’t know when it will happen…but I’m growing stronger and there will also be someone with the strength and patience to catch me when I allow myself to fall.

*Largely understated>_<