success

Previously I thought that I’d retire this ‘Happenings’ album after leaving Cam. I didn’t think that there would be anything new to add to the story. But, there is. The break from the UK was far from clean. There’s a sizeable chunk of emotions and feels that remain there, and it’s been difficult thinking of England and the people there as just a foreign blob of land with foreign masses of people. England has come to feel like a second home, not in the least because I’ve grown to feel closer to a few of those ‘foreign people’ than I feel to many strangers and acquaintances in Trini. Also, I left my paint and a pair of shoes there…so, yeah…

I came back to Trini in August and have been working at a cool job in UWI since September. So at least 2 people were a bit confused to see me on the other side of Trinidad and Tobago Immigration and Customs yesterday.

I’ve just returned to Trini from a short trip to the UK. Yesterday I left Cambridge to head to the airport at 2:30am, got to Gatwick at 7:00am, and had to wait until around 11:00am to board the plane…which spent about 9 hours in the air en route to Trinbago. Anyone who spent Saturday evening with me knows how much I was dreading that time waiting around in the airport, and so it was nice when I met a secondary schoolmate (Valini) at Gatwick. She was also on the same flight as myself ^_^. I hadn’t seen her in ages, so it was wonderful to spend the hours waiting to board the plane with her. When I got on the airplane, I saw another friend who was returning to Trini ( Teocah ). Upon touching down at Piarco I saw yet another secondary schoolmate ( Jamie ), in the Immigration line. I still find it weird to bounce up other Trinis that I know, by chance, in a foreign country….but it’s nice when it happens.

Anywho, I went to Cambridge to graduate…and to visit some lovely people—some of whom I might discuss in future rants. I now officially have an MPhil…yay!! They said all the Latin stuff, I walked up when they called my name, I held the praelector’s finger, knelt down in front of the guy sitting in on behalf of the VC, he held my hands together as I knelt and said more Latin stuff, I stood up and bowed, and then I walked out of Senate house where they handed me my degree certificate. I didn’t graduate with distinction, but I got the marks for a high pass ^_^ I’m pretty proud of myself. When next I post a group of grad pics, I’ll be in a PhD gown with Dr. written in front of my name. It’ll happen; Believe dat!!
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Picture: The pic in the top left corner is of me when I first arrived at Cam, the other 2 are from after graduation.:)

It’s been almost one year since my fateful fight with the dragon. Luckily for us all, I killed him. Unfortunately for me, I still bear battle scars. It doesn’t bother me most of the time, but from time to time I would look at my face and vainly think “You used to look so much nicer before you got that scar by your eye” and then I’d think “But at least you still have your eye Kalifa. You came pretty close to losing it…you could have been blind on one side.”

That’s how life is I guess. It would be wrong to not be grateful, thankful for what you have, for small mercies, but you still wish that calamity hadn’t hit you in the face in the first place. You still wish that you didn’t have to fight as much as you do. You wish that life hadn’t thrust the burden of living on you. In some ways you wish that life was more like death; in other ways you wish that it involved more vigour…because maybe then you would be strong enough to live, to love, without ever being knocked down.

…but without the falls, life is nothing but a boring, pre-programmed script.

I guess though that I’ll see how my feelings change with time. Ever since taking off my eye patch I’ve worn my glasses outdoors just about every day; not because I wanted to see more clearly, but because I wanted around my eyes to be more obscured from the world.

As trivial as a problem, loss, flaw, hurt, pain, disappointment may be in the grand context of society and existence, it still often means a quite a bit to the singular, selfish heart and mind.

**I came almost on the verge of tears just now because my tablet wouldn’t come on. It eventually did, but it has a very bad short it seems, so I’ll have to work/sacrifice to buy a new one…because I don’t think I can survive in any state of happiness without painting. Such is life!**